What am I doing wrong – bedtimes?

What Might Be Happening?

At 10 months, babies go through a major developmental leap and sleep regression. Some factors that could be contributing to this rough patch include:

1. The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression – Around this time, babies experience a surge in cognitive and motor development (pulling up, crawling, standing, babbling more). This often leads to disrupted sleep patterns, more night wakings, and difficulty settling.
2. Wake Windows & Overtiredness – A typical wake window for a 10-month-old is 3-4 hours, but an overtired baby can struggle to settle, even if they seem exhausted. Your little one had a long morning nap, a short afternoon nap, and a long awake period before bedtime, which may be making bedtime harder.
3. Nap Timing & Length – His second nap might be too short, causing a cycle of overtiredness. Also, if bedtime is too early or too late, it can lead to resistance and long wake-ups.
4. Sleep Associations – If he needs rocking, feeding, or cuddling to fall asleep, he may be waking up expecting the same conditions to get back to sleep.
5. Teething or Discomfort – Teething, tummy issues, or even a mild illness can make settling harder.

What You Can Try

1. Adjust Nap Schedules
   • Try a wake window of 3-3.5 hours in the morning, 3.5-4 hours before bed.
   • If the school run disrupts nap time, you might try a contact nap or car nap to extend it.
2. Cap the First Nap
   • Since he’s napping 1.5+ hours in the morning, he might not be tired enough for the second nap. Try limiting it to 1-1.25 hours so that he’s more ready for the second nap.
3. Stretch the Afternoon Nap
   • Aim for at least 1 hour in the afternoon (1.5 if possible). If he wakes early, try resettling. If that’s impossible due to the school run, a power nap (15-20 min) before dinner may help.
4. Adjust Bedtime Timing
   • If naps are short, move bedtime earlier (6:30-7 PM) to avoid overtiredness. If naps were good, push bedtime slightly later (7:30-8 PM) so he’s sleepy but not wired.
5. Independent Sleep Strategies
   • If he relies on rocking/cuddling, slowly transition to falling asleep more independently (gentle methods like fading or chair method can help).
6. Create a Calm Wind-Down Routine
   • Keep the last hour before bed quiet (dim lights, limit stimulation).
   • Try a relaxing bath, massage, book, then into bed awake but drowsy.

If you feel like nothing is improving after a couple of weeks, or you’re at breaking point, a sleep consultant might be a good idea. Persistent split nights (being awake for hours in the middle of the night) can sometimes signal an underlying issue like schedule misalignment or a medical concern (e.g., reflux, allergies).

You’re not alone in this. It’s okay to take breaks, ask for help, and remind yourself this phase will pass. Be kind to yourself—you’re doing an incredible job even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. 💛