Toy Designs That Missed the Mark
It’s Time to Play the Keyboard, Baby
Toymakers have a lot on their plate, and we certainly do not envy them. But the person who designed this toy appears to have gotten a bit confused. Instead of the message being, ‘Let’s make a keyboard for a baby’, they, obviously, heard, ‘Let’s make a keyboard baby!’And though this strange creation does give us the heebie jeebies, you cannot fault him he was just doing what he was told.
This is very much a keyboard baby, which would be odd enough if the hands and feet didn’t appear to be fused together and the head looked as if it had been broken. This is all bad on all levels.
A Kinder Surprise… But Not a Good One
Let’s be honest; you are NEVER too old for a Kinder Egg. The chocolate itself is totally delicious, but there’s nothing more thrilling than opening up your egg and discovering a toy inside. But we think folks popping open this Kinder Surprise probably were surprised … in a bad way. Whoever greenlit this particular toy clearly wasn’t paying attention in history class, otherwise this would never have been approved.
The rest of the world appears to have validated us as well. There were enough complaints about the toy after only a few days of being in circulation that Kinder quickly recalled and discontinued it.
Quality Check? What Quality Check?
Every type of product, while delivering to the clients, there is a whole team who looks after the quality check and control. This ensures that all products leaving the factory doors live up to the expectations, keeping customer complaints to a minimum. But it looks like the quality controller skipped the one on the right. And if you’re looking at this picture and asking ‘why is this a toy fail?’ just take a look at the tail…
Duh, we’re 99.9 percent sure the tail is backward! We’re just sure someone wanted a specific toy added to their collection just for the stroke of it.
Presenting Hagrid the Cowardly Lion
Dollar stores are indeed a law unto themselves, and you wouldn’t believe what you can get under the roof of these stores. Some products are so great that you’ve no earthly idea why you’d shop anywhere else, and then some products are…um, pretty questionable – like this toy, which was supposedly a Hagrid toy. Turning out to be a repainted toy aimed to resemble Hagrid. And not very well, either.
You can still make out the mane and the ears, and even the Medal of Courage that used to dangle from a toy of the Cowardly Lion in The Wizard of Oz. They didn’t even really try.
Don’t See It? Read the Box
You probably don’t need us to remind you that we live in an age of knock-offs. Counterfeit goods are everywhere, but they are even more common when it comes to off-brand toys that steal both the spirit and the looks of popular toys to make cheaper knockoffs. In some cases, they’re not all that bad and a welcome addition to the toy box. In other instances, they depended too heavily on Google Translate.
It’s obvious that these toys were intended to be a knock-off version of Paw Patrol, but how they came up with this name is beyond us. But apparently, ‘The more you play with me, the happier L will be!’
The Earth Is the Center of the Solar System According to This Toy
For parents, nothing compares to watching their children have fun while learning something new at the same time. At first glance, this seems like one of the most educational playgrounds out there. What parent wouldn’t want their offspring to gain knowledge of the solar system whilst preparing to slide down a massive hunk of metal at full pelt after all? But we recommend you take a closer look at this ‘solar system.’
Last we heard, there had to be a real sun in the solar system — but this one doesn’t seem to have one. At least Pluto gets to be a little fun for once, though.
The Not-So-Fantastic Four
Whether it be kids or adults, everyone likes to have toys based on their favorite movies, TV shows and comic books, and that’s what has led to so many great The Fantastic Four figurines out there. But as we now know and can all agree: They’re more like the not-so-fantastic four. These four are totally Amazonian and eerily humanoid, with shoddy paintwork and weird proportions, with a weirdness that absolutely permeates from them and makes you feel just the littlest bit uncomfortable.
We do like that it appears that The Human Torch is having some fun, however. To us, he seems to be pumping the roof up as he burns.
Time to Spring Into Action
There’s so much more to being a kid than just playing with toys in your home. It’s also about taking adventures, exploring the great outdoors and testing the places where playgrounds exist in the world. If you’re the type of a kid looking for an action-filled playground with slides, jungle gyms, and whatnot, chances are this playground doesn’t tie into your playbook either, although this one is in Germany. It will not be a thrilling adventure to be sure.
The only playground here is the spring platform in the middle, which, if I estimate it correctly, will give a child about 0.3 seconds of fun. At least it’s sand instead of concrete on the ground, we guess.
This Doll? She Looks Sick
We adore a word that wears two hats, but what sick do you think appropriate for this toy design fail? Sick, as in cool? Sick, as in…ill? Well, if her green face is any evidence, she’s not doing so good, or the plastic box has suffocated her. Whatever the case, this is one of the oddest looking things we have ever seen in our lives.
Sure, we love the fact that her purse goes with her shirt but her sick-looking face gives us the heebie jeebies that makes us feel a little sick when we see it.
Well, It’s Close Enough
Uno is one of the most popular card games around. But anyone who has ever purchased popular or legitimate games will know that they can be expensive — and some people just have zero dollars available to spend. For this reason, we can hardly fault other companies for making bargain basement knock-offs such as this Ono game. What we take issue with is that they didn’t even attempt to dress it up.
If you didn’t read the letters on the front of the cards, you’d just think this was Uno. But I suppose that’s the mark of a good fake, isn’t it?
So Long Spiderman, Say Hi to Sniperman
But now, be real, like this Spiderman, is one of the softest superheroes. He doesn’t have laser eyes or super strength but flings webs from his wrists and scales buildings to get to the end goal. This toy maker appears to have wanted to toughen him up, though. And so they changed Spiderman to Sniperman and gave him an edge over all his competitors, and it is safe to say he looks pretty fierce.
However, we are a little nervous that this toy is battery-powered. What needs to be operated? We hope that it’s legs, but not the weapon he has in his hands.
Better to Be Blocked at the Top Than the Bottom
Have you ever visited a playground and understood immediately that it was planned out by grown-ups who have no clue what kids actually want? Yes, just ask the people who visited this playground, only to discover at the top of these slides. Besides, no kid can go down the middle slide anyway, since it’s been cordoned off altogether, and the other two only leave a tiny sliver for them to slip through.
Even though it’s a got way better than being blocked at the top then at the bottom, we also need to just take a moment to appreciate the slides marks. They’re going to have fun, the adults don’t want them to but they’re going to find a way.”
If Spongebob and Patrick Had a Baby
The wonderful thing about these toy fails is that they’re giving us storylines we never even knew were there. From Captain America’s stomach aches to a sunless solar system, these hypothetical situations are fascinating. And we know Spongebob has a girlfriend in Sandy the Squirrel, but have you ever thought about Spongebob and Patrick getting together? And what if they then had a baby as well?
Any good toy designer worth their salt would have considered that when crafting something that is technically the best lovechild somewhere between the pink starfish and the sea sponge. Either that, or they just ran out of yellow material.
What’s Up, Cap?
You likely don’t need us to tell you that superheroes are everywhere. You can’t flip on your television set or stroll down the street or go into a toy store without some sort of superhero product or ad popping up. And although we welcome budget options being offered to kids with just a few dollars in hand, we do find ourselves questioning whether these superhero s are so super.
For one, apparently Spiderman really let himself go. What about Batman’s face? In short, they all seem a lot less super and a lot more ill — Captain America, in particular.
Yeah, That Looks Super Safe…
And the biggest problems when it comes to toy fails isn’t so much the design itself, but the manufacturing behind the design. And though some companies work to ensure their toys are safe particularly for kids there are others that are less concerned. We are going to reckon that this company falls into the latter category. Yes, the head did come off and expose a giant screw…
Maybe the clue should have been the fact that this toy says it is ‘security, non-taxic,’ but nothing should have a giant screw in the middle of it in our opinion.
Maybe It’s Time to Rethink Number Eight
Educational toys always go down well with parents as we’ve mentioned before. And if a young girl got a children’s veterinarian kit for her 4th birthday, we bet her parents were thrilled to see that she could even learn all about how to care and how not to care for animals – from the food they eat to the bacteria that can make animals sick. But let us just take moment to focus in on No. 8 on this card.
Yes, that absolutely says what you think it does. And although it’s definitely something to consider when you’re caring for animals, maybe it was time for a wording update?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Going Through the Awkward Phase
I Don’t Believe No One Made An Entire Franchise About Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Without Considering Teenagers Are The Worst Between the insane amount of hormones raging around their bodies to the awkward physical development that comes with it, it’s a lot to contend with when one adolescent keeps you company, let alone an entire pack of them. And we can’t but help to think that this toy failure was actually a toy success.
This demonstrates what the guys would look like if they were actually teenagers: awkward, gangly, slightly uncomfortable in their own bodies. He seems pretty close to us!
Straight in the Shopping Cart
There are two types of people in this world; there are those who see toy design fails, walk as far away from them as humanly possible and then there are those who find them hilarious and go straight ahead and add them to their shopping cart. And judging by this Bart Simpson look alike, we would have probably done the same as this person. This is too good to ignore.
Though we’re not sure what’s up with Bart’s head here, the toy doesn’t look to have all its stuffing here on the inside. Either that or Nelson Muntz finally got to him.
Say Hello to SpongeBob Scarepants
This toy fail can probably inspire a myriad of emotions in you. First of all, you might be a bit jealous that you did not have a Bikini Bottom-themed inflatable obstacle course at your birthday party. But when you take a breath and actually scrutinize this image, you might even find yourself feeling a bit relieved because this Spongebob is unlike any other Spongebob we’ve ever seen before.
This isn’t Spongebob Squarepants, this is Spongebob Scarepants, and all we can assume is that he is hoping to swallow as many children as he can during the course of a single birthday party classroom trip.
She’s A Benign Girl, In A Benign World
Are you sick of seeing Barbie around? Us too. After Everywhere and Barbie took over the world in 2023, it’s nice to have a little break from the perfect doll we all know. But can Benign Girl knock Barbie off her pedestal? Well, we’re not sure. We suspect that was a terrible try at some google translation but we at least know she’s healthy and non-cancerous.
The more we examine this, the more amusing it gets. Actually the more we see of this, the more we wish we had a Benign Girl cell phone under our Christmas tree this year.
Is This What Nightmares Are Made of?
Some entries in this feature have been just bizarre enough that they’ve actually been funny, and we can say with confidence that Mario’s Toy is not that. It actually appears to be one of higher quality unlike some of the others on this list but the design itself is just strange. When did Mario have a triangular head? And why does he have sawtooth teeth?
Mario seems to be having a mid-life crisis, and we really don’t need to be in that environment. At least not when that many teeth are looking back at us.
The “Barely Keeping It Together” Barbie
Sure there were the crazy weird dolls, and then more eccentric editions in the Barbie universe, but the whole vibe was really about displaying particular ideals of the “perfect” woman. She’s beautiful, she’s got a gorgeous boyfriend, and she has the best friends. But gradually realistic Barbies have begun appearing in stores this one, for example. Sure, we know this is not an ‘official’ product made by Mattel, but we can’t help but wonder if it is possibly the most realistic doll we’ve ever laid eyes on.
After all, this doll looks like she’s on the verge of falling apart and aren’t we all? We are doing our best over here, and at times that shows.
Dora the Explorer or Dora the Destroyer?
Every now and then a toy comes along that smashes two different universes together. These partnerships generally perform really well because they unite two different fan bases into a single mega toy. But we have to wonder about the thinking behind this toy design. While we all know Dora the Explorer is ridiculously popular, we’re not sure what it has to do with the Terminator. Not to mention, an ordinary bubble machine gun.
As odd as it is, there’s a bit of us that loves this mash-up. Some bubble machines don’t offer much excitement, after all, and this is not one of them.
Take a Closer Look
Because if that was installed at the other playground from earlier, this is just a whole whole heap of wrong. And look, we love the fact that the builders and designers of this playground wanted to teach the kids a thing or two while they got their fun on, but multiple problems arise when the educational material isn’t factually correct. After all, North wasn’t South last we checked, and South wasn’t North.
The more we stare at this playground fail, the more it eventually gives us a pain in the head like we just can’t get our heads around it at all. So, we’re just going to keep going.
That’s One Unusual Dinosaur
Toys exist in so many forms, and their wonderfulness to us is that they can be hyper-real representations of things and live animals, but also totally imaginary. But when designing a toy, you need to pick a lane and stick to it — unless you get a wild hair and do whatever the heck you please. From what we are coining the Horseasaurus, it is clear the toy designer behind it went with the latter option.
Either that, or we are witnessing one of the strangest-looking horses ever. But either way, we definitely think the whole thing deserves a spot on this list of the most epic toy fails.
A New Addition to the Avengers
Everybody wants to be an Avenger, right? And while it would seem that some superheroes have been able to join the field’s cooler mega heroes in this specific timeline, there are others who deserve to be included but simply don’t fit the bill – like Deadpool. But you do have to start questioning things when Deadpool gets snubbed but Luigi is somehow not. And apparently, he’s the Anvengers’ latest recruit, according to this toy design fail. He also renamed himself Batman.
It doesn’t take any cartoon-watching genius to see that absolutely everything about this toy design fiasco screams that this was not a product of e.g. a proper toy company, and was just hastily slapped together by someone trying to cash in and pull the wool over someone’s eyes.
Spiderman Gone Wrong
After decades of watching superheroes on our screens, we have an idea of how these characters are supposed to look. The Hulk has massive green biceps, Iron Man an iron helmet, Captain America a shield, and Spiderman a spidey-suit. But the great thing about Spiderman is that he’s Peter Parker a twiggy nerd, and at the same time a super-cool guy. But this toy doesn’t resemble that not in the slightest.
From the banana hammocks (is he doing the Thighmaster?) to the eyes, which have been so clearly sewn on incorrectly, this Spiderman is unlike any that we have ever seen.” And we never want to look at it again.
Muscle Man Homer
It’s not like these toy fails are great mysteries, because most of us have some idea of what they should look like. We all know what Homer looks like, from the little tufts of hair sitting on his head to the kind of clothes he wears — we’ve seen enough episodes of The Simpsons. So, safe to assume the people who created this toy have never seen an episode in their lives because Homer is definitely not this jacked.
Our theory is that the toy makers and/or the toy company just slapped together this new Simpsons-based line using a mould of a buff dude they had kicking around. And the body may be tolerable, but the face is anything but creepy.
No Drama, Llama
Everyone loves a plushie, no? All the same, even if you say you don’t, cuddling a soft toy can make all the difference, right? And this person when they won what was supposed to be a lamb plushie from a claw machine hit the jackpot. Sure, we have to hand it to them for actually won something out of one if those claw machines those games are ridiculously rigged after all but we also have to wonder about the lamby quality of this toy.
We say llama, you say lamb regardless of its species, this toy fail is undeniably cute compared to all of the others on this list. Even if its head is the wrong way ‘round.
Jamaica No Problem, Man
Anyone who is familiar with Pokemon is aware that it’s Japanese hence why we all seem to assume that Pikachu is also Japanese. But has anyone ever bothered to ask the creators of the show if he has a Jamaican cousin? This toy company apparently believes this, which is why they created what we’re going to dub Jamaicachu. He even has his own catchphrase, which we’re still working to decode.
This entire image is utterly confusing in so many ways and yet the one thing we can agree on as being the biggest shock of them all is the length of the man’s finger next to him. Nothing so large has ever been seen by us.
Please Make It Make Sense
The first to make sense of this random toy gets $5 from us. Well, not quite, but it’s safe to say that this is among the most confusing things we’ve ever seen. For one thing, its shape is completely weird and we can’t tell whether it’s meant to be a hippo on its back or whether it’s not meant to be any shape at all. Then there are the numbers and shapes to deal with.
For a while, the numbers look fine - until you reach number fourteen. And has anyone ever heard of the cirle shape? We know of a circle but not of a cirle.
Is That-A You, Mario?
Mario and Luigi are two of the best-known people in the toy world, and everyone knows their appearance. That makes spotting the real deal from a fake super easy, and we think you’ll all agree that this is a fake. Or else, the machine made a serious malfunction while in the manufacturing process. It should not have left the factory looking like this guy, one way or another.
We didn’t even know it was possible to grow a mustache under your nose, let alone above it, but we suppose these toy makers thought it made it through quality control.
You Okay Bart?
Copyright is a huge thing in the toy world. These are all knock-off companies and brands, they tried to walk the thin line between gently ripping-off and copyright, to prevent getting into big trouble – the best thing you can do is just change the name. And that is what this toy company made the decision to do when they swapped out their (very obvious) Simpsons toys with The Americans. Well, at least it’s factually accurate.
But we can only guess that these folks are named Bort, Humer, Midge, Linda, and Aggie because they are surely not the The Simpsons that we know and love from the fine town of Springfield.
Captain America Has Seen Things
We don’t know what it is about knock-off toy makers, but they just have a hard time getting the essence of Captain America. With his handsome appearance, affable demeanor and courage, he’s supposed to represent the idealized American hero. But this dude seems to have had too much action, and seen things he can’t unsee. Or he has a case stomach flu.
At least they nailed the colors with this one. The red, white, and blue champion is still relatively well-known, which is more than we can say for some of the other toy disasters on this list.
Popeye Really Has Been Eating His Spinach
Surely there is no lack of superhero figurines. You can just go to any toy store or a dollar store, and there are so many different options available. But we bet you’ve never seen any quite like these before and what a group! You have whatever Captain America is, Spiderman, Popeye (I guess he’s a superhero now?), a floating head, and a weird dude with some of the world’s largest cheeks.
We’re unsure what prompted all these figurines to be lumped together but one thing’s for sure, these guys look like they mean business. Poe: Just ask Popeye about his muscles!
We Guess He’s Called Lario Now
If you’re making a mass market budget toy, it’s probably wise to do your research. And fans of Mario Bros. knows what both Mario and Luigi look like and this is neither. But this factory has made a blend of them both and turned Lario into a plushy toy for the person to carry around on Halloween. Or perhaps he’s a cousin from across the way.
Whatever the case, here’s to hoping whoever bought this plushy toy didn’t spend too much in Lario. Especially if they were looking to get Mario or Luigi.
When You Eat Too Much Spaghetti
If you’re looking at this image and you think you have a general idea who it’s meant to represent, we’ll end your misery. This is supposed to be Garfield the lasagna-loving orange cat. But I suppose when you eat enough yellow spaghetti, you start to turn yellow yourself. And what about the eyes and lack of nose and mouth? Good, well we have no excuse for that.
We honestly don’t know which is the worse part of this soft toy – that he looks like a Minion or that he has bizarre ears (which we’re assuming are supposed to be whiskers) protruding from the side of his head.
It’s Luigroot and Pikachoke
The more you look at this toy fail, the stranger it seems. Toward the front of this image, it appears that they’ve combined Luigi and Groot into one weird and rather unsettling toy. Then, when you finally look away from the atrocities happening at the front, you notice that Pikachu is getting choked in the background. Why? Well, we have no freaking idea.
To add to the strangeness, this looks to have been taken in an airport, so we can just assume security was stopping these weird toys.
Eyes up Here, Wario
From the looks of this person’s collection, the person who bought this toy design fail is really into that figurine thing. They have shelves and shelves of them, and entire cases of figurines were stacked next to this guy. But of the ones we can see, Wario is perhaps the most interesting of the bunch. And while we’d like to say that this is another serious toy design fail, it kind of looks right.
It seems poised to revive Wario’s legacy, as he’s known for some crazy faces as he wiggles his eyes back and forth. We’ve got to admit that looking at two eyes looking in different directions is pretty freaky.
